


To The Stars (Wait For Me)

by Swanssmile



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Bisexual Ahsoka Tano, Episode tag: s07e08, F/F, Kind of a character study, and a kiss, brief mention of Bo Katan, brief mentions of Obi Wan and Anakin, but also fluffy sapphic shit, features some sad moments, just that little bit of pain because we all need it, let's go sapphics let's go, not beta read we die like men, sapphic Ahsoka because I said so, spoiler alert: she gets both, this was written before the season 7 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29361810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swanssmile/pseuds/Swanssmile
Summary: Ahsoka is about to leave the Martez sisters for good to go down a path of uncertainty, but there is a last goodbye she has to say to Trace.
Relationships: Trace Martez/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	To The Stars (Wait For Me)

„Ahsoka, wait!“ Something about the urgency in Trace’s voice made the young Togruta stop. Bo Katan was alternating between looking at her and Trace, and Ahsoka felt like her next steps would change her carefully, newly arranged world and turn it upside down. As soon as she boarded the shiny ship in front of her, there’d be no going back. So she turned. One last time.

Trace was right behind her, a look in her eyes that made Ahsoka‘s knees buckle for reasons she had no time to examine.

Between crashing on the very platform she stood on right now, cutting deals with the Pykes and seeing Darth Maul as a transparent blue hologram flicker above her, Ahsoka had had no time at all to just _feel_. Now though, having gone through all that with the two sisters, her _friends_ , she corrected in her mind, she felt…loss.

Fitting in had never been a big problem for her, up until the trial. Up until all she had stood for, all she had ever known and loved had crashed down upon her, had called her a traitor so easily. Her home had become the place of mistrust and pain, and she had become a stranger to the very thing she‘d believed in and sworn to protect since she could remember.

When she looked up into the soft eyes of Trace Martez, the young woman who‘d took her in, offered her a place to stay and a shoulder to lean on, she suddenly felt the piercing need to thank her. For being there when she‘d had no one, for believing in her when she herself couldn’t. For finally making her feel like she _belonged_ again.

She tried to reign in on the pure power of those feelings, tried, for the briefest of moments, to stop the flood of gratefulness and love. After all, even a long deserted Jedi should be able to keep their emotions in check, should be able to be controlled and calm even at the most stressful of times. An image of the gentle, ever smiling, red-haired man who had taught her that particular lesson fleetingly crossed her mind, and in a steadying breath she opened herself up to the force and released a new onslaught of feelings she couldn’t deal with right now. A soft, grounding touch at her shoulder picked her up and coaxed her back into reality.

„Ahsoka?“ Again Trace with the trustful and innocent eyes and the bubbly energy that, despite the short time Ahsoka had spent in her presence, felt like home. At last, Ahsoka, standing just a little taller than Trace, smiled down to her. „Sorry, I was just thinking-“ But she didn’t get further.

Because the warm hand on her shoulder had moved to her neck, because Trace Martez suddenly stood a lot closer to her than the Togruta remembered and because, from one moment to another, timid but determined lips were sealed on hers. The slightest touch of lips, the slightest spark of something familiar yet so unusual.

Later, in the Mandalorian ship, on her way into uncertainty, she would mull over how different it had felt from kissing Lux Bonteri. How these lips hadn’t felt like a fiery explosion on hers but a tender wave crashing lightly against sandy shores, licking away at the grains with determination. Leaving marks whenever it did.

Too caught up in the moment, too stunned to do _anything_ other than just stand there and let this wave wash away all thoughts and fears, Ahsoka stood closed-eyed and allowed herself to live in the moment. Just this once.

The moment ended as abruptly as it had begun and when Ahsoka opened her eyes, she was staring into the brown sea of serenity that was Trace‘s gaze. „I just had to know. How it felt.“ She explained silently, as if these words were meant for just her ears to hear.

Ahsoka wanted so badly to say something, anything, to thank her a million times and tell her how confused she was, how much she had enjoyed her company, the kiss and say sorry for not telling her sooner about who she really was.

„I-“ She started, but again the young woman cut her off. „Shh. It‘s alright, I know.“

And suddenly, Ahsoka didn’t know what to do anymore. If she stayed, she could have what she’d longed for ever since leaving the order: a family, stability, even love. She would get a new chance, a new home, a new _hope._ Something she could be proud of and happy with.

But she wasn’t supposed to be happy. Many Jedi had walked this path before her, beaten, betrayed, scared, lonely. Many had tried and just as many had failed and it seemed like even if she tried she would end up in misery nonetheless. For the fate of a jedi was as uncertain as it was certain, as specked with light as it was with darkness, paved with good intentions as well as bad decisions. It hurt, seemed to burn into her soul, searing a deeper hole with every second she thought about it.

Another touch of the impossibly soft hand. On her cheek this time.

„Go. You have to do this. Don‘t be scared where it will lead. If there’s one person in the world who can overcome their fears it‘s you.“ A smile, far sadder than her words let on, a gentle touch of forehead on forehead. Then, Trace stepped back.

The way it happened tore open a wound Ahsoka had thought long healed, threw her back to an equally heartbreaking goodbye in the shadows of another towering building on Coruscant. Yet again the pain. Yet again the insecurity. But as the former padawan turned to go, the familiar, calming voice sounded once again over the darkness of the platform. „I‘ll wait for you.“ Not this time, Ahsoka thought, ready to board the ship. This time, she would have someone to come back to.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my fic folder for almost a year now and I literally just rediscovered it. My gf said I should post sooo here it is :) Not beta'd, btw, so don't expect too much. Do tell me if you find any grave mistakes though :)  
> Title taken from That One Titanic Quote and the Hadestown song :)


End file.
